I’m sorry I cheated on you with Dark Souls II tonight. I love you and you are very exciting, but Dark Souls II and I have something special. It’s a horrible relationship, I know; Dark Souls II wants nothing more than to kill me over and over and over and over and over again, and then kill me again when I do my corpse run to get those souls back.
It’s an abusive relationship, but the fact of the matter is that I’m going to need to split my time between the two of you. I’ll let Dark Souls II beat me up and make me feel like I don’t know how to play video games, and then come back to you when I need to feel like a badass for an hour or two.
Don’t worry; as you can see, I still need you in my life. It’s not my fault you both moved in the same week.