Categories
Fails

Martini Hall of Shame: Tavern on Main

You know what? I probably don’t even have to type out this entry because you saw the image up above there, so you should understand.

Or maybe, your response is:

“Wait a minute. Did he post the wrong image? I distinctly remember seeing a gin and tonic up near the title of this post.”

SCROLL BACK UP; LOOK AGAIN.

Friends, I did not post the wrong image. I will repeat it here, inline, so you may behold this rather amazing(ly bad) response to my request for a dry Hendrick’s martini:

IMG_0331

Your next response should be, “Dear God, Ryan, what did you order? Are you sure you did not order a gin and tonic? With two olives for some unfathomable reason?”

For your information, this is how I order a martini:

  • What gin you do you have?
  • (When the response is inevitably “What gin do you want?” which is a horrible answer that translates to “I don’t care enough about drink orders to memorize the list”) Do you have Hendrick’s?
  • I’ll take a martini with Hendrick’s—extra dry—like desert dry, Sahara—you know what, why don’t you just wave at the vermouth and say “hi” to it instead of putting any in the martini?
  • Don’t shake it.
  • No, really, don’t shake it. Stirred. Yes, stirred.
  • Oh, and two olives, please.

The above is how I ordered the martini at the otherwise moderately OK Tavern on Main for our CrossFit gym’s annual Christmas party. (Open bar = Martini Time.)

Again, this is what I received:

IMG_0331

LET’S COUNT WHAT’S WRONG HERE PLEASE:

  1. That’s a rocks glass, not a martini glass. Hence this is already not a martini. I don’t even need to discus this further, were it not for the fact that—
  2. HOLY HELL THERE IS ICE IN THIS DRINK.
  3. I think we can safely stop there, yes?

So I ordered a dry martini, and what I received in response was basically a glass of iced gin.

Yes, I drank it. Did you really think I was going to let that gin go to waste? I had to drink it rather quickly so as not to end up with a lot of ice melt in my drink, but gin is gin and cold gin is delicious.

I didn’t order another one, though.

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Uncategorized

Fine Art on Downtown Streets

Each year, Belleville, Illinois plays host to Art on the Square, which is a rather unique gathering of artists from all over the country (and in some cases, the world). They descend on Belleville to set up in the downtown square in individual tents, proudly displaying their craft and offering fine art, photography, sculpture, jewelry, glasswork, and woodwork of all shapes and sizes. It’s really a fascinating sort of event. They block off about four blocks’ worth of street in the downtown area just to hold it, including the roundabout that’s right in the center of town.

This year was the second time we’d visited. There’s no way we can afford many of these pieces of art (some of them cost into the thousands of dollars), and I’m always nervous taking the kids for a walk around the square when just about everything around is breakable, but it’s always an enjoyable time. This year, the weather was nice and cool, the sun was shining, and as always the people were friendly. It’s a great thing to be able to engage the artist, to ask about their work, how and why they create it, and where they are from.

We plan on continuing to go each year. Someday we’ll take back a piece of art to adorn the walls of our home.

I’ve prepared a small flickr photoset with additional images of the event. If you’d like, check it out.