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How to Install PHP Apps on Ubuntu with Nginx, in 20 Steps

I’ve got nothing.

  1. provision hosting instance
  2. point domains
  3. guess package names for your package installer
  4. clone a bunch of git repositories
  5. try to figure out where everything you installed actually went
  6. install the packages you missed
  7. employ arcane magic and half-written tutorials to write an nginx config
  8. let i = 1
  9. nginx -t
  10. service nginx restart
  11. check app
  12. change one line of nginx config
  13. let i = i + 1
  14. if i < 5000 goto 9
  15. post on StackOverflow
  16. find config option that “works”
  17. get white screen of death
  18. curse person who decided web apps should now require a compiler
  19. question your intelligence and self-worth
  20. delete hosting instance