How to Install PHP Apps on Ubuntu with Nginx, in 20 Steps

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  1. provision hosting instance
  2. point domains
  3. guess package names for your package installer
  4. clone a bunch of git repositories
  5. try to figure out where everything you installed actually went
  6. install the packages you missed
  7. employ arcane magic and half-written tutorials to write an nginx config
  8. let i = 1
  9. nginx -t
  10. service nginx restart
  11. check app
  12. change one line of nginx config
  13. let i = i + 1
  14. if i < 5000 goto 9
  15. post on StackOverflow
  16. find config option that “works”
  17. get white screen of death
  18. curse person who decided web apps should now require a compiler
  19. question your intelligence and self-worth
  20. delete hosting instance